Bike Gripes

As a cyclist, naturally I have many enemies.  This thought struck me yesterday as I was forced to cancel a bike trip due to rain and thunderstorm warnings.  As it happens, however, rain and thunderstorms do not even rank in my top five list of velo adversaries.

No Biking
In Iceland, some major streets are bike enemies.

The Wind

The wind and I have a very tumultuous relationship.  I swear that windy days have the potential to tack on an extra 15 minutes to my ride.  Although I enjoy a cool breeze on a hot day as much as the next guy, there are few things I hate more than biking into the wind.  Few things, my friends.

Crotch Burn

Sit on a bike seat for two hours + each day and you will know exactly what I am talking about. 


I have cyclist’s hands -calluses and blisters line the top of my palms (I wanted to call this part of the hand “inside knuckles” but my gentleman friend suggested that this was a made-up term).  Although I am mildly proud of my toughened cyclist hands, this is quite likely one of the worst places to nurse a popped blister.  I suppose that this problem could be easily remedied with the purchase of a good pair of bike gloves, but I just don’t think I’m there yet.

Bugslaps to the Face

Seriously.  You know how sometimes when you are in a car, bugs smack into the windshield and explode?  Picture the equivalent for cyclists, except instead of a windshield it’s your face.  The only upside in this situation, is that I will never go fast enough for an insect to actually explode, hence the term bugslap.

The Number 14 Bus

Every day I cycle Elgin and Gladstone twice, once on my way to work and once on my way home.  The number 14 bus also takes this route.  Since these times tend to be peak commuter periods, I often find myself playing tag with the 14.  This mostly consists of me catching up to the bus and ducking into traffic to pass it when it makes a stop, only to be passed again at the lights three blocks later.  Sometimes, when OC Transpo is feeling particularly inept generous, they send two 14’s out at the same time, and I find myself sandwiched  in between both until I finally get into Little Italy.

Number 14
The number 14, ruining my life.
This list is not all-inclusive.  I could probably add a million other things, starting with rain, humidity, flat tires, jerk drivers, bike laneless roads, jerk cyclists, taxi cabs, jerk pedestrians…etc.  But I won’t, because if you have already made it this far, you don’t deserve to be subjected to further grumblings.  Stay tuned for a more cheery post that focuses of the positives (of which there are many more than negatives) of being a bike commuter! 


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